The ten commandments as a guide for organizing and decluttering

2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me. (Exodus 20:2-3)

From the perspective of trying to get organized and de-cluttered, these verses can give us both hope and direction.

If you feel like you’re drowning in your stuff, then you know you have a “house of bondage.” Verse 2 above gives us hope to know that if we succeed in getting organized and de-cluttered, it is the Lord that has brought us out of our “house of bondage.” It takes a miracle, but the Lord can do miracles.

Verse 3 can give us excellent direction. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” is a simple statement about what our top priority should be. If you are determined to keep the Lord as your top priority, then your stuff is a lower priority and you will be able to conquer it.

Ultimately, keeping priorities straight is KEY to conquering clutter. In terms of organizing, priorities are the little invisible rules we have at the back of our minds by which we determine what stuff we buy, what we let go of, what goes where, and more.

Needs are higher priorities than wants. For instance, food, clothing, and shelter are higher priorities than decorations, conveniences, pleasures, or tools. That is pretty well understood, but when it gets down to specifics, it gets trickier. Sometimes the only way we can discover what our priorities really are is to compare them.

What gets higher priority in your house—decorations or tools you use often?
What gets higher priority—the tools you use often or the tools you might use someday?
What gets higher priority—your memories of the past or the things you are involved in now?

Let me give you an example of something I’ve had trouble letting go of. I’ve been hanging on to my college textbooks for years.

• As books, they are low on my priority list of things to read; I prefer reading other books more.
• As sources of knowledge, they are also low on my priority list because lately I go to the internet first when I have questions.
• If I’ve been keeping them because they represent a memory of who I am and what I did, they are also rather low priorities because my journals—I am a copious journal writer—are a much better store of my memory and identity.

Someday I will figure out the priority that is out-of-whack with those textbooks so I can let go of them.

Prayer: the powerful tool for overcoming the fear of de-cluttering

This was a discovery I made in the beginning of October 2011 when I went home to visit my mom and dad, specifically to help my mom de-clutter.

My mom was very motivated to de-clutter, and that is saying a lot. Growing up from time to time she would let me organize a closet or a cabinet or a desk, but it was hard for her to let go of anything. This time, she felt she was drowning in her stuff, and all the fun things she hoped to do and wanted to do had ground to a halt because of all the stuff she had to sift through.

When I finally got home, of course I was excited to get started. I started on the kitchen desk, going through the drawers, sorting the pens, pencils, erasers, paperclips, rubber bands, and so on. I started asking her questions about the collection of flower vases and medicines.. We started making progress, but my mother, who is very articulate and aware of her feelings, began to feel a great sense of loss as we were getting rid of stuff. It brought her to tears. She was grieving over the things we were tossing that really needed to be discarded.

I could see that the decision-making process was becoming very difficult for her. The trouble was, in order to make progress, she had to make lots and lots of decisions. And those decisions needed to be mostly in favor of discarding stuff instead of keeping stuff.

My mother and I are very religious. We both have a firm belief in the power of prayer. We both have had many experiences of praying and having our prayers answered. We both know we can ask for God to help us do things that we have trouble doing on our own.

It was at this point that I realized we needed to pray.

But I didn’t suggest it yet.

My mom pushed through her emotional difficulties and then we started on organizing and de-cluttering the game closet.

Once again, we ran into the barrier of my mom’s emotions. She felt guilt because of the number of games we had that we had never tried to play. She felt loss because the prospect of letting go of so many games meant that opportunities for play and bonding as a family were being lost (even though it is only her, dad, her mother, and my youngest brother (a 20-year-old) were at home). Her distress may sound silly, but it was HER distress.

If there is one thing I know now, it is this—you can’t argue with emotions. Feelings are just as real as thoughts and they are a part of us. Emotions must be validated before they are dealt with. I let my mom explain why she felt distress. I listened to her, trying to understand her.

Mom is not just a bundle of emotions, though; she is also a very thoughtful person and she tries to make very rational decisions. It was a pleasure to listen to her reason over what kind of games were worth keeping and which were not. Perhaps you didn’t know that it was possible to evaluate a game, but let me assure you, I learned from my mom that it is. She could categorize games pretty well by looking at the rules and the boards and the cards. We both liked games that had an ingredient of unpredictability to them. We favored games that manipulated words. Since our family is large and most of the kids are grown, we kept games that were best for older players. But she also had a number of Bible games and games that taught morality. These games were geared toward young children and she kept these for the sake of visiting grandchildren.

Still, there were some games that were very difficult to evaluate because it was hard to tell whether they were something that would be appreciated in the future or something that would never be thought of. We discovered that to make a good decision, she needed to have the gift of prophesy and discernment.

This is when I finally suggested that we pray.

We both prayed. Mom prayed for prophecy and discernment to make good decisions about what to keep and what to get rid of. I prayed to be supportive and encouraging and to not be manipulative or coercive. I also prayed for my mom to have emotional and mental stamina so that she could make all the decisions she would have to make.

After that, we went back to work and she was able to let go more easily and with less emotional loss. She stayed focused and she was able to make so many decisions that I was starting to get tired before she was!

Each day after that, we made sure to pray for help before starting to de-clutter. We tried to pray very specifically for the skills that we needed to work together and to make good decisions. Altogether, mom sent about 28 large black trash bags of stuff to the Salvation Army. For her, that was absolutely miraculous.

Now, I realize that not all of you may be comfortable with praying for help while de-cluttering. Some of you may not believe in God. Some of you may believe in God, but may be unsure as to how to pray for help with de-cluttering. Let me say a few words to address both these concerns.

To those of you who don’t believe in God or don’t know if there is a God, I can tell you that I know there is a God, on the basis of years of answered prayers. He knows the nature of your belief or nonbelief, your questions, your skepticism, your incredulity. He knows all about it. You are His child. He wants you to not only progress, but to become more acquainted with Him. Try an experiment prayer. Tell Him how weird you feel praying. Tell Him about your feelings about de-cluttering and what you want to get done. Ask for help. Then get started.

To those of you who believe in God, but are unsure about how to pray for help with de-cluttering, here are some things that you can pray about. Tell God about how you’ve tried to de-clutter and get organized in the past. Tell Him why you feel it hasn’t worked. Tell Him about your emotional attachments to your stuff and how hard it is for you to let go. Ask for help with dealing with the emotions and ask to find ways of validating the emotions and memories and preserving them in such a way that you don’t have to keep stuff so much. Ask for help making decisions to let go. Ask for help to discover what habits might be keeping you from de-cluttering. Ask for emotional and mental stamina to make the decisions you know have to be made. Ask for the physical strength to carry out your decisions. Ask for the proper perspective about your stuff.

Prayer is tool to help us organize and de-clutter because it gives us access to the power of God on our behalf in order to conquer our weaknesses. It works. I've seen it work.

Students: How to keep track of your assignments

If you find yourself having difficulty remembering all you have to do and feeling a vague discomfort at times because you feel like there is something due soon that you are forgetting, it is time to start using a planner of some kind. Again, this will cut down on cognitive load so that precious thought cycles can be used on studying and class work instead of worrying about forgetting an important date.

In college, on the first day, all classes will hand out a class syllabus, which lists reading material, dates assignments are due, and dates tests will happen. The first thing any smart student will do is consolidate all due dates and readings and assignments and tests from all their class syllabi onto one calendar/planner. It is much more efficient to look at assignments in only one place every day than to have to look at four or five different places every day. Yes, it takes time, but it is worth it to stay on track.

The best type of calendar for Melanie and Robert is the type that shows every hour of the day. This may seem excessive, but it is meant to help Melanie and Robert learn to manage their time. Melanie and Robert have two types of time—time that is spent in class, and time that is spent out of class. With a calendar that lists every hour of the day, Melanie will be able to block out the times that she is in class. She will then be able to see at a glance how much time is available for all the other things that need to be done, like work or church or play or doctor’s appointments, or anything else that will need to be scheduled. She can then be able to estimate how much time is available for her in which to study. If she can SEE that she only has a three-hour block in which to read her history book and write a report, she will be much more likely to spend that time doing on history homework than surfing the internet.

Prevent school supply waste and save money

One thing that makes it difficult for a student to get organized is that teachers require assignments to be handed in different ways, and it is hard to anticipate what they will want (and thus what supplies to get) without talking to them before school starts. If you buy school supplies without knowing what will actually be used, there is a high chance that you will waste money when you have buy school supplies a second time when you REALLY know what you need.

Some teachers insist upon seeing a whole notebook of a student’s work. But if Melanie keeps all her schoolwork for all her classes in a binder with different subdivisions, she can’t give the whole binder to the Mr. Smith because then Melanie won’t have her other papers for her other classes. Other times, the teacher might ask the student to hand in a paper. If Robert is using a notebook, he can tear out the sheet of paper the Miss Jones wants, but once the assignment is returned, it can’t be magically un-torn back into Robert’s notebook. All of a sudden, Robert needs a folder to keep his loose papers in.

With all this confusion, Melanie and Robert may throw up their hands in disgust and put everything in folders. Unfortunately, when it comes time to review for Mr. Black’s test, they have to sift through a pile of papers and assignments that have accumulated in their two-pocket folders. Where does the material covered in the test start and end in their notes? Should the returned assignments be kept mingled among class notes, or should it be kept separate? Where do they put sheets of extra blank paper? Where do they put notes in their folders when class is over? Where do they put assignments not yet turned in so they don’t lose them? Where do they put handouts that the teacher gives them or practice tests or syllabi?

When I was a student, I eventually learned that if I bought my notebooks and binders and folders before school started, I would find that I had gotten the wrong thing and some of my teachers wanted something different. So I had to learn to refrain from getting those things until I had gone to at least one class with all my teachers to find out what they wanted.

When money is tight, it is tempting to put several subjects in one notebook, especially if it becomes obvious that not all the paper will get used in one year or one semester. This can cause problems if the subjects are not separated in some way. When test time comes, Melanie will want to consolidate her notes together, and running across history notes in the middle of geometry notes gets distracting. If the same notebook must be used, it is helpful to start one subject from the front and another subject from the back, then work toward the middle.

Another way to improve organization is to use a portable accordion file instead of folders. In this way, papers can remain loose and a class can have a multiple pockets, one for notes, one for assignments, one for tests, one for handouts, one for projects, and so on. Accordion files come with little tabs at the top of each divider that can be nicely labeled in any way a student needs or wishes. As papers are added to the accordion folder, it will expand to hold them and there is usually no need to worry about exceeding its holding capacity. (This is great compared to binders, which come in certain sizes that can get overfull.)

I think it is kind of silly that folders are limited to only two pockets. They should have at least four. With only two pockets, a person has to create mental divisions inside each folder. That’s like living with a refrigerator with only two shelves, or living with a closet with only two hangers. It adds to the cognitive load on the student mind, which is already trying to remember how to balance an oxidation-reduction reaction or how to compute the greatest height reached by a launched projectile, or how to compute the midpoint of a line on the Cartesian plane, not to mention how to get through the day without being made fun of by that group. Yes. Only two pockets in folders adds to student cognitive load.

Carol for decluttering your house

I wrote this a few years ago and it is time to post it for all to enjoy. It is sung to the tune of the Christmas Song "Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow."

“Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go”

Well the piles inside are frightful
Acquiring was so delightful
No place for the chi to flow
Let it go, let it go, let it go

I’ve squirreled away so much it’s scary
Now I want a home that’s airy
I’ll have to train myself to throw
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

Bridge:
When I’ve finally gotten rid
Of the things kept since I was a kid
There is plenty of open space
Room if I wanted to pace

Emotional attachment is clinging
But I’ve set myself to flinging
There someone who needs it mo’
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

My memory’s not eternal
So I wrote it in my journal
My keepsake pile is dropping low
Let it go, let it go, let it go

Bridge:
I’m afraid I have been obtuse
I thought someday this might find a use
Embarrassing, it appears
That was thought twenty-some years!

There’s stuff I’d thought I’d try repairing
There’s so much, I’m despairing
It’d stretch out in a mile-long row
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

I’ve finally stopped delaying
I’ll stand no more “some-day-ing”
Stop shifting stuff to and fro
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

Bridge:
There are projects I just might do
Talents in me I just might pursue.
Just because I give this away
Won’t mean I’m blocked from essay

These knickknacks sure were pretty
Before they broke and got dirty
There’s just too many to show
Let ‘em go, let ‘em go, let ‘em go.

Bridge:
When I toss a gift from a friend
I’m afraid that they’ll note and contend
But it’s not like it’s theirs, it’s mine
If they’re kind, they won’t malign

Well, the heirlooms that I inherit,
Unused, they lose their merit
Antiques they are, but even so
Let ‘em go, let ‘em go, let ‘em go.

Bridge:
When I come to what I collect
I must pause for a sec’ to reflect,
“Discarding it all’s a beast;
I’ll part with what I like least!”

We’ve finally cut the clutter
And put it out by the gutter
If it happens again I’ll know
Let it go, let it go, let it go!

The charity box in the garage

When professional organizers work with people to help them declutter and get organized, a very common practice is to keep a box nearby in which to put things that will be donated to charity. The problem is that once the job is done, the now decluttered customers tend to think that there is no longer a need for a charity box. They think the charity box is a tool used only while decluttering with a professional organizer. But it isn't. It is one of the best tools for staying decluttered in the long term after the professional organizer has left. In short, every household needs to have a charity box.

Now, allow me to digress just a little bit with a story...

When I was going to BYU, it fascinated me that every dorm laundry room on campus had what was called a D.I. box. (D.I. is short for Desert Industries, which is the Latter-day-Saint-run second-hand thrift store.) When students wanted to get rid of perfectly good clothing, they could put it in the D.I. box, and every so often, the box's contents were taken to D.I., donated to charity. I made use of that box, and I came to consider it a convenience.

When I got married and established my own household, I found that I still needed something to store items that I intended to take to charity. It would be silly to make a trip just to donate one thing, so I began using a cardboard box as the D.I. box for our family. When it got full, then it was time to make the trip to donate it. I kept it in the garage so that when it was full, it was very convenient to just put it in the car trunk. (And then I put "Donate stuff to charity" on my list of errands.)

Keeping a charity box in your garage will do several things for you. 1) You can get an immediate lift by removing clutter from your living space, with a set place to put it. 2) It will help you become reconciled to letting go of things by giving you time to discover you don't miss it. 3) It institutionalizes charitable giving in your home, which builds the character trait of generosity little by little.

If you want to remain decluttered over the long term, keep a charity box around and add things to it from time to time when you find they aren't being used.