by Stacey
Tisdale and Paula Boyer Kennedy.
In
it I ran across a fabulous outline of the process of change.
While this outline was inserted in
a money management book (pp98-120), I could immediately see that the principles
were much more generally applicable, so I want to quote it here.
It is applicable for those who wish to
change to become more organized and it is applicable all kinds of change.
While it doesn’t necessarily tell you
how to change, it can help you understand where you are in the process of
changing so that you can retain realistic expectations of what you can
accomplish and so that you can know where you can focus your efforts that will
bring better success.
1.
Precontemplation
2.
Contemplation
3.
Preparation
4.
Action
5.
Maintenance
6.
Termination
The key to successful is in knowing where you are in the
change process and applying the right technique. You must be ready….
The Nine Tools for Change
Consciousness
Raising. This is about
awareness. You need to be aware that a certain belief or behavior exists. It’s
also about becoming aware of the ways in which you use your defenses,
resistance, and “mental tricks” to maintain a certain belief or behavior….
Social Liberation.
This involves finding external environments where you have more choices and
alternatives for your desired behavior. No-smoking areas, for example, provide
an alternative for smokers.
Emotional Arousal.
This is similar to consciousness raising, but it works on a deeper level. You may be aware of a spending problem,
for example, but that awareness moves to a different level when you realize you
don’t have the money to cover the cost of your child’s tuition.
Self-Reevalution. This involves reappraising your problem
and thinking about how your life will be once you’ve conquered it. During this
type of reevaluation you can really see and believe that your life will be
better without the behavior you want to change. The pros outweigh the cons as
well as the costs of what you have to give up.
Commitment. This
is an acknowledgement that you are the only one who can act on your behalf—you
willingly accept responsibility for the change you want to make and what it
will take to make it. The first step involves telling yourself you are ready
for change. The second involves going public and telling others that you have
made a firm decision to change. Public commitments can be very powerful and
effective when it comes to changing behavior!
Countering. This
involves substituting healthy responses for [an] unhealthy one….The key is to
keep trying until you find countering behaviors that work.
Environmental
Control. There are some similarities to the social liberation and
countering techniques in environmental control. In environmental control,
however, you activevly restructure your environment so that the probability of
the problem-causing behavior’s occurring is reduced. Leaving your credit card at home would be an example of
controlling your environment….
Reward. This
involves things like self-praise or getting yourself a present when you reach a
certain goal. These things can be under your control, or the control of
others….One thing to watch out for is that many of us do not believe that we
have [the] right to be rewarded when we change or modify a behavior, yet we
believe that we deserve to be punished when we fall short of our goals. Dr.
Prochaska and his colleagues discovered that punishment is rarely used by
successful self-changers.
Helping
Relationships. This involves
getting care and support from significant people in your life. Many of us have
trouble admitting when we need help, so we limit our opportunities for
assistance. In addition, many of the people we care about may be uncomfortable
hearing that we’re in trouble. They may find it difficult to provide the
support we’re looking for. It’s important to identify the people who can provide
the type of support that you need when you employ this technique….
The Six Stages of Change
The Precontemplation Stage of Change
The first stage
of change is called precontemplation.
People in this stage usually have no intention of changing their behavior. Few in this stage think they have a
problem at all. Precontemplation
is characterized by resistance, excuses, rationalizations, and denial.
Precontemplators rarely want to change themselves, just the
people and circumstancees around them. If people around you have been trying to
get you to change your lifestyle or certain behaviors, like losing weight,
quitting smoking, or eliminating debt, but you think the problem is with them
and not you, you’re probably in precontemplation! Movement out of this stage is
often unintentional.
“Precontemplators are likely to stay stuck in this stage
unless one of two things happens: A crisis occurs, or an event like becoming a
parent, turning 50, or some other milestone—situations where your environment
no longer supports your lifestyle,” Dr. Prochaska told me.
Defense Machanisms
for Precontemplators. Precontemplators
are often demoralized, feeling like a situation is their fate. They don’t want
to think or talk about their problem because they feel the situation is
hopeless. These feelings of inevitable failure protect them from trying to
change. They give up on
themselves, and accept one or more of what Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues
have identified as the Four Self-Change
Myths.
Myth 1: Self change is
simple. It’s simply not! We
shouldn’t become embarrassed or frustrated by our struggles, or feel bad if
someone tells us they had an easier time making a change than we did.
Myth 2: It just takes
willpower. Willpower doesn’t really come into play until you’re ready to
take action. As Dr. Prochaska says, it can seem reasonable to conclude that you
don’t have enough willpower if you fail to make a desired change. But failure
to change when relying on willpower alone really means that willpower alone was
not enough!
Myth 3: I’ve tried
everything; nothing works. This goes back to timing—making sure that you’ve
used the right process, at the right time, in your change effort.
Myth 4: People don’t
really change. Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues have blown this myth out of
the water, by interviewing countless numbers of successful self-changers. We’ve
all changed. Look at a picture of yourself 10 years ago. Now look in the
mirror. Think about how your attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors have also
changed over the past decade. Change happens in all of us, whether we want it
to or not.
Precontemplation or
Lifestyle Choice? It can be difficult to identify whether you are a
precontemplator or you’re simply living the life of your choosing. Some people
truly believe, for example, that they are okay with debt and overspending. Dr.
Prochaska says the following three questions can help distinguish between
problem behavior and lifestyle choices:
1.
Do you
discuss your behavior pattern? Precontemplators are usually defensive. They
tend to tell people to mind their own business. They tend to see feedback as an
attempt to control them, rather than a sign of caring. They use their defense
mechanisms to avoid an issue.
2.
Are you
well informed about your behavior? Precontemplators tend to avoid learning about their problems.
If they see an article or television show about getting out of debt, they would
likely turn the page or channel.
3.
Are you
willing to take responsibility for the consequences of your behavior?
Successful Change
Techniques for Precontemplators. Dr. Prochaska found that precontemplators
use three change techniques to move out of this stage: consciousness raising,
helping relationships, and social liberation….
Helping Relationships. Our
defenses rarely fool others. Think about someone who cares about you and will
“call you out on your stuff!” This person should not rush you toward action
before you are ready, but they should help you come up with different ways to
look at your problem. Precontemplators rarely change without outside assistance…..
Social Liberation. Self-help groups…are great examples of
resources for precontemplators.
Your ability to enjoy non-…destructive behavior will do wonders for your
self-esteem.
The Contemplation Stage of Change
As a person moves from the precontemplation stage to the
contemplation stuage, he or she starts to seriously consider making a change.
Awareness is developed during contemplation—awareness of the consequences of
various actions and awareness of the benefits of change.
Contemplators want to change, but this stage is also
characterized by resistance, due in large part to a fear of failure. They are
also fearful of losing some, or all, of their identity. “I’ve been a shopaholic
all of my life. If I give that up, what will I do with my friends on the
weekends?”
These fears tend to bring out the procrastinator in the
contemplator. In fact, many chronic contemplators substitute thinking for
acting. Conflicts and problems hang suspended. Decisions are never finalized.
Some in this stage seem to be waiting for some kind of divine intervention to
come along and change them.
Contemplators are not ready to prepare for action until they
achieve greater understanding of their behavior. This is a positive aspect of
the stage. Dr. Prochaska says jumping into action while you’re in this stage
will almost surely lead to failure.
Defense Mechanisms
for Contemplators. Dr.
Prochaska and his colleagues have identified these common traps that
contemplators can fall into:
·
The search
for absolute certainty. People who are stuck in contemplation may tend to
spend their time analyzing, thinking, and worrying, instead of taking action.
Some people, for example, will spend decades in therapy, exploring every aspect
of various issues, without taking actual steps to change their situation. They
seem to harbor the belief that if they get enough information, change will be
easy or the problem will go away.
·
Waiting
for the magic moment. Someday….I’ll quit smoking. Someday, I’ll get out of this unhealthy relationship. Most
of us are familiar with the concept of waiting for the perfect time for change.
It’s driven by a belief that there will be a magic moment when change will just
happen or, at least, be easy. When the kids grow up. When things slow down.
Things, of course, never slow down.
·
Wishful
thinking. It’s much easier to wish for change than to work towards it. The
problem is that wishing rarely works….
·
Premature
action. Trying to take an action before you’re ready can serve as a
conscious or an unconscious way out.
Dr. Prochaska is quick to point out that a period of contemplation prior
to taking action is essential for
lasting change. Premature action can also come as a result of being nagged or
threatened by an outside party. When failure comes, the contemplator can now
say, “See, I tried. I knew I couldn’t do it. Get off my back.” Now they can
justify putting off future attempts to change.
Successful Change
Techniques for Contemplators. Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues found that contemplators use
four change techniques to more out of this stage: emotional arousal,
consciousness raising, self-reevaluation, and helping relationships.
Emotional Arousal.
As we discussed emotional arousal happens on a deeper level than simply
becoming aware of your problem behavior and its consequences. Losing a
business, a job, or a relationship over financial issues; an illness; or other
life-changing events can provide the kind of emotional charge that is needed to
make the decision to change a behavior.
Dr. Prochaska says we can also emotionally arouse ourselves.
He says movies that focus on our specific problem are wonderful ways to rouse
emotions. He cites Jack Lemmon’s portrayal of an alcoholic in the movie Save the Tiger as a motivating event for
many alcoholics. Creating your own stimulus can also be helpful. Overweight
people, for example may want to use mirrors to encourage them to change….
Your imagination can be a great tool as well. Think about
your problem behavior and imagine the distressing scenarios it could lead to.
Think about the people it is affecting and the consequences to your lifestyle.
Imagine how this behavior will play out 5, 10, or 20 years down the road.
Consciousness Raising. If you’re in the contemplation stage of
change, you’re probably more open to hearing information about your problem
than someone still in precontemplation.
Use this as an opportunity to gather information that can motivate you
to change your behavior.
Come up with questions that will raise your level of
consciousness about your problem, such as:
·
What do my finances have to look like in order
for me to retire in 10 years?
·
How long will it take me to pay off my credit
card debt if I pay only the minimum?
·
What are my triggers for overspending?
·
What am I thinking and feeling before I make a
purchase that works against my goals?....
Self-reevaluation.
Take the information you learned about a behavior and its consequences
through consciousness raising and put some well-informed though into how you’ll
feel if you continue to act in the same way. How will I feel about myself if I continue to stick my head
in the sand...? In addition to
asking the “tough questions,” Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues noticed that
contemplators getting ready to move out of this stage begin to think before
they act. Pausing and thinking
before you make a purchase or a financial decision can do wonders for your
financial stability.
Contemplators also create a new self-image for themselves.
“If I move past this behavior, how will I feel? How will others think of me? What types of things will I be saying and doing?” They begin to act according to their
new image. Contemplators also make
a decision to take action, sooner rather than later, after weighing the
consequences of change to themselves and others around them.
Helping relationships. Contemplators benefit a great deal from
empathy—someone who’s able to see his or her perspective. Unconditional support
and warmth is also critical during the contemplation phase. No insults threats,
“I told you so,” or false praise. Dr. Prochaska says it’s wise to remember that
“warmth begets warmth.” The best way to ignite warmth and compassion from your
helpers is to extend it. Helpers can also offer assistance with gathering
information that could be helpful during self-reevaluation and consciousness
raising.
The Preparation Stage of Change
People in this stage are usually planning to take action
within the next month and are making the necessary adjustments before they
begin to change their behavior.
“They are preparing for how hard taking action is really
going to be. They are creating a plan to deal with the expected and unexpected
challenges that are to come, because their realization of the benefits of
change have gone up,” Dr. Prochaska told me.
Preparation is the cornerstone of effective action. When it comes to financial behavior,
preparation could include things like setting up accounts to have money
automatically allocated toward your goals….
In this stage, the focus has shifted to what life will be like
once you have changed your behavior.
Dr. Prochaska gives the example of a therapy group for people addicted
to cocaine. Those who were in the
contemplating stage delighted in talking about their war stories—the crazy
things they did to get cocaine, the crazy things it did to them This was appropriate because they were
still in the decision-making stage.
Those in the preparation stage found these stories to be distracting. They talked about how their lives and
relationships would change for the better without cocaine.
Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues found that people who
rushed into action without preparation usually failed to make the changes they
desired.
Successful Change
Techniques for Those in the Preparation Stage. People in the preparation stage use three techniques to move
forward: self-reevaluation, helping relationships, and commitment.
Self-Reevaluation.
Using self-reevaluation to create a new image absent your destructive
behavior will help you let go of the past. Ask yourself: What is my potential if I change? What will it free me up to become? How will my life be enhanced? This type of forward-looking
self-inquiry allows people in this stage to turn away from old behavior. It can be scary and downright hard to
let go of habits and patterns, but “your new self will be there to greet
you.” In addition, people in the
preparatory stage can use self-reevaluation to help them make change a
priority. As you plan for your
life without the…behaviors you want to change, what do you need to do?
Helping Relationships.
The preparation stage usually involves notice-able changes that may
affect the people around you. If
you haven’t enlisted their help, this is a good time to do so. In addition, it can be quite tempting
and easy to give up in the first days and weeks of your new behaviors. You may need the support of helping
relationships now more than ever.
Dr. Prochaska says it’s important to let people know the
best ways to help you. Tell them,
for example:
- “Don’t keep asking how I’m doing.”
- “Lend a helping hand when you see that I’m overwhelmed.”
- “Tell me how proud you are that I’m doing this.”
Commitment. While
commitment involves a willingness to act and focus on the ways in which you
want to change, the spark that really ignites its force is your belief in your
ability to change. Believing in
how you’ve assessed yourself and your problem during self-reevaluation will
help build your will and your confidence.
Still, Dr. Prochaska says, at some point you’re just going to have to make
tough choices when you are committed to change, and throw yourself into a new
way of behaving. Even the
strongest commitment and intention, however, can be overwhelmed by fear of
failure. There are no guarantees
that change will be successful.
Dr. Prochaska says we must learn to accept the anxiety that comes with
this fear. He offers these five
commitment techniques to help combat that stress:
- Take small steps. Gathering the emotional and physical
supplies you need to prepare for action should not be underestimated or
rushed. Cut up your credit cards,
for example, before you take more aggressive steps to get out of debt.
- Set a date. Choosing a date can help prevent
premature action and prolonged procrastination. The date should be realistic, but as soon as possible, so
that you can capitalize on the momentum you’ve built to make this change.
- Go public. Going
public with your intended change not only enlists the support of people who
care about you, but also gives you a fear of embarrassment if you fail. Both can be a major motivator when it
comes to staying committed.
- Prepare for a major
operation. If you were having
a major operation, you would plan for it and your recovery. Do the same for the
behavior you want to overcome. Put the “surgery” first. That means your relationships, moods,
and other areas of your life will change accordingly. Also, plan to take as
much time as you need to recover, just as you would after a physical surgery.
- Create your own plan
of action. Knowing yourself
and what works for you is critical when it comes to creating a specific plan of action. Your plan
should list a variety of techniques for coping with expected barriers. Spending
one day a month versus one day a week with your neighbor who pushes the “keep
up with the Gateses” button, for example. Reviewing your previous attempts to
change may also hold valuable information about your barriers.
The Action Stage of Change
When you are prepared to make the changes you desire, and
you’ve planned for them, action can come naturally. You’re committed and you’re motivated. Now you can act….
Taking action also involves making the difficult changes in your life that will
allow you to alter your behavior
This could mean avoiding certain places and people or getting rid of
things in your everyday environment so that you can stay focused. Being aware of the pitfalls during this
stage greatly improves your chances for success. Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues identified these four
danger zones:
- Taking preparation too
lightly. More often than not, action without preparation will not last for
very long. Without the necessary
preparation and plan for temptation, the inclination to return to the problem
behavior is too strong.
- Cheap change. Change requires work, effort, enormous
energy, and standing up to the efforts by others to hold onto the old you. Your
best friend may try to talk you back into your old spending patterns to assuage
her own guilt. Standing up to this
pressure is extremely difficult, but there’s nothing cheap or easy about
change.
- The myth of the magic
bullet. Many of us believe
that there is one magic way to bring about successful change. Dr. Prochaska says some people are
attracted to his work because they believe it provides some miracle cure.
Relying on a single technique will likely lead to failure. Try different
techniques in different doses until you find one that works for you.
- More of the same. Many
of us have a tendency to cling to old techniques that are bringing partial
success or no success at all. By
holding onto old methods, we don’t allow room for change, and we don’t give
ourselves opportunities to recognize that other, perhaps better, techniques and
variations exist. Combining a variety of techniques at the right time is the
best way to get your desired results.
Successful Change
Techniques for People in the Action Stage.
Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues found that people who successfully
moved through the action stage of change used four techniques: countering,
environmental control, rewards, and helping relationships.
Countering. This
involves finding a healthy substitute for the behaviors you want to
change. This eliminates much of
the risk of the old habits returning.
I once interviewed Dr. Bernard Arons about behavior
substitutions for people with addictions.
Dr. Arons is the executive director and CEO of the National Development
and Research Institutes, which does scientific research on substance abuse and
other health concerns. He has
served in a number of positions, including mental health and substance abuse
adviser to Tipper Gore during the Clinton administration in the early
1990s. During our interview, he
pointed out that when we engage in a behavior that we know is self-sabotaging
(e.g. reckless spending), we experience some form of gratification. Perhaps shopping gives a sense of
control to someone who feels that his or her life is in chaos. He says it is
important to find an alternative nondestructive way to achieve that same
effect. This can be very helpful
when it comes to finding effective countering techniques.
Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues identify these effective
countering techniques:
·
Active
diversion. Keep busy. Find an activity to preclude problem
behavior. This could be
anything—reading a book, calling a friend, walking…--anything that refocuses
your energy.
·
Exercise. This is one of the most beneficial
substitutes for problem behavior.
Dr. Prochaska says omitting exercise from a self-change plan is like
fighting a foe with one hand tied behind your back. Exercise prepares you
mentally and physically for change and reduces your stress levels.
·
Relaxation. Research has shown that 10 to 20
minutes of daily deep relaxation can bring lasting improvement to your physical
and mental health. You will experience an increase in energy, which is needed
to take action. Decreased anxiety, improved sleep, and improved concentration
are other positive effects. Yoga,
meditation, prayer, and progressive muscle relaxation (systematically relaxing
every part of your body) are some of the relaxation techniques successful
self-changers use.
·
Counterthinking.
We’ve had much discussion
about the importance of “rewriting your scripts”….Counterthinking is quick,
takes little energy, and can be used anytime, anywhere. When a negative thought is getting the
better of you, give it a reality check.
What are you telling yourself that’s making you so upset? Is it the truth? Are there more rational assessments of
the situation? Absolutes are a
good indication that you should come up with a new thought: “I must buy this
car,” “I am bad at saving money”—anything that doesn’t leave room for
discussion. What new tune are you
going to play when that old song comes up? How are you going to rewrite scripts that don’t serve your
best interests?....
·
Assertiveness. Trying to overcome problem behavior can
result in feelings of weakness and helplessness, especially if there are people
or other outside influences that resist or are threatened by the changes you
want to make. Exercising your right
to be heard can build confidence.
In addition, don’t forget your right to make mistakes, change your mind,
and resist other people’s judgments, as well as your right to not have to
justify yourself. Assertion
crosses the line into aggression, however, when your assertiveness comes at the
expense of others.
….Think about what it is in that behavior that you find
gratifying. A sense of
control? A distraction from
boredom or depression? Come up
with some countering techniques for your behavior. Be specific about how and when you can apply them. Don’t forget that you’ll probably have
to be flexible and try new techniques until you find the right solution.
Environmental Control.
While countering involves changing your responses, environmental
control involves changing the situation itself. It involves changing your environment in a way that reduces
temptation. An alcoholic, for
example, has a better chance of success if he doesn’t keep alcohol in his
house. Controlling your
environment is not a sign that you are too weak to be tempted. It shows that you are strong enough to
put yourself in the best possible situation to achieve success.
While avoidance is very effective when it comes to
controlling your behavior, it’s not always a permanent solution. Other techniques Dr. Prochaska and his
colleagues suggest include:
- Cues. Eventually you will be faced with a cue
that triggers your problem behavior.
I once met a woman who felt the need to go on a shopping spree and get a
makeover every time she saw well-dressed celebrities on award shows like the
Oscars. Dr. Prochaska recommends
using your imagination to confront and plan for cues. Perhaps this woman could
conjure up that anxious feeling she gets from watching the award shows. She could remind herself that her
family and friends love her for who she is, not for what she wears, until the
feeling subsides. She could also tell one of her friends she has identified as
a helping relationship that she will plan to call them for a “pat on the back”
when the Golden Globe Awards come on.
- Reminders.
Reminders are very effective during the action stage. Putting a picture of your dream house where you keep your
credit card, for example, will stop you from rushing full steam ahead into a
purchase that is not high on your priority list. “To do” lists are also effective. Put your countering techniques near the top—things like
counterthinking, Relaxing, and Exercise.
Rewards. Many
people do not believe they should be rewarded for changing problem behavior. Failing
to reinforce positive self-change efforts, however, is essentially punishing
yourself. Many psychologists say that punishment only temporarily suppresses
troubled behavior. Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues found that successful
changers rewarded and praised themselves for their efforts. Many used these three techniques:
1.
Covert
management. If you choose to
take a deep breath and relax until the urge to spend passes, congratulate
yourself. Telling yourself, “Nice
job, it feels good to be in control,” is a much more effective tool for change
than beating yourself up for having the urge in the first place. The latter breaks down self-esteem,
whereas a “pat on the back” reinforces your effort and makes you feel good
about success you’re having in the change process.
2.
Contracting. Many successful changers make contracts
with themselves during the action stage.
Written contracts are even more powerful than spoken ones. “Every time I put $200 into my child’s
college fund, I will take the two of us to the movies.” Tapping into helping relationships when
using this technique can make your contracts more binding.
3.
Shaping
up. By this Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues mean taking small steps to
gradually reshape your behavior.
Well-practiced well-rewarded moves to put $25 a month into an investment
account, for example, can lay a strong foundation for the time when you want to
make the larger investments needed to attain your goals. Gradually reshaping your behavior
builds your resolve….
Helping Relationships.
You’ll rely on your helping relationships more in the action stage than
you have in the previous stages.
It’s important that your
helpers are clear on your intentions, and the kind of support you need from
them. You should ask for their help with your countering techniques. You could ask a friend to exercise with
you, and ask him or her to help you change your environment so that you can
avoid tempting cues. As we discussed earlier, helping relationships are also
very useful when it comes to sticking to contracts. In addition, praise and
reward from those close to you goes a long way in helping you feel good about
the changes you’ve made.
Think of the best people to provide you with the support you
need during the action stage of change. Who will help you with the ways in
which you are trying to counter your behavior? Who will help you stick to your
contract? How can they be of the most help?....
The Maintenance Stage of Change
Successful change is not measured by action alone. It means
you must sustain your new behavior for years, decades, or a lifetime. Sound
challenging? It is. In addition, you won’t get that
confidence boost from seeing the immediate results of taking action or the
praise from people who see your dramatic changes. The new you is old news. Dr. Prochaska and his colleagues define
the maintenance stage as a busy, active period of change that requires you to
learn new coping methods. They say
sustained, long-term effort and a revised lifestyle are the key ingredients to
successfully maintaining the changes in your behavior.
As we discussed, there was something about your problem
behavior that brought you some kind of gratification. That attraction will
still be there long after the habit is broken. It is important to acknowledge
that you are still vulnerable to the problem, even though you see it has no
value.
Dr. Prochaska and his group identified three common threats
to successfully maintaining your new behavior:
1.
Social
pressures. These come from
those around you. They may engage
in the behavior you’re trying to change without realizing their actions are
having an impact on you.
2.
Internal
challenges. These usually
result from overconfidence or other forms of defective thinking. “I’ve been
able to stop using my credit card for six months. This one purchase won’t make a difference.”
3.
Special
situations. The desire to
“keep away from the Joneses and Gateses” and not buy cars that take up 30
percent of your income might be greatly challenged if you get a big bonus.
It is difficult to prepare for these challenges because they
are usually unexpected. Daily
temptation and self-blame when urges or relapses hit were prevalent in people
who failed to make lasting change.
Successful Change
Techniques for People in the Maintenance Stage. People who successfully maintained behavioral change
continued to use the change techniques that worked for them. These brought them success:
Commitment. Once you’ve changed your lifestyle and
moved into maintenance, the threats to your new behavior are fewer and far
between. You’ve controlled your environment, developed countering measures, and
enlisted support. That can make it
easy to become complacent. Watch for signs like these that show that you have
lessened your commitment: “I’ll skip my credit card payment just this month,”
“I’ll start saving again next month; I already know that I can.” Also, always remember to be patient
with yourself, and keep your eye on the long-term benefits of your change.
Reward. Take
credit and responsibility for your accomplishments. Remembering how far you’ve come and praising yourself for it
can help keep you connected to how much you’ve already committed yourself. This can be a great motivator when it
comes to sustaining that commitment.
Helping Relationships. Give your helper permission to confront
you if you start reverting to old behavior, express overconfidence, expose
yourself to tempting situations, or break your contracts. Also, let your helper know that he or
she is “on call.”
Dr. Prochaska suggests making a crisis card for your wallet
or pocketbook that also includes a set of instructions to follow if you slip:
1.
Review the problem.
2.
Substitute positive for negative thinking.
3.
Remember the benefits of change.
4.
Engage in rigorous distraction or exercise.
5.
Call my helper. Being a helper to someone with a
similar problem is also helpful during the maintenance stage.
Environmental Controls. Environmental controls are also a key ingredient when it
comes to successfully maintaining change.
As your confidence grows, you’ll become more comfortable in the presence
of certain temptations, but you may not be totally immune to them. Continue to avoid people, places, and
things that could compromise your change efforts, especially in the early
months of maintenance.
Countering. Dr.
Prochaska says that working to create alternative behaviors is one of the most
important parts of maintenance.
Make time for something that you’ve always wanted to do. Countering negative thinking is equally
as important. Plan time to step
back, check your thinking, and give yourself a reality check, so that you can
keep negative thoughts from gaining a foothold….
The Termination Stage of Change
Termination is the final stage of change. There is a great deal of debate over
whether a behavior is ever truly terminated, or if people spend their lives in
the maintenance stage. Age seems
to be a factor. The older we get,
the more likely we are to simply lose our appetite for some of our old
behaviors. Dr. Prochaska and his
colleagues did find that some tendencies and behaviors could be
terminated. They identified these
four criteria in people who had changed their behavior for good:
1.
A new
self-image. If a major
revision in your attitude and self-image takes place during maintenance, there
is a good [chance] you will reach termination.
2.
No
temptation in any situation. People who reached the termination stage felt no temptation
to return to their old behavior, regardless of the situation. It wasn’t even a
thought.
3.
Solid
self-efficacy. People who move
from recovering to recovered are convinced that they can function well without
ever engaging in their former behavior, no matter what the situation. This is not false bravado; it’s a
genuine self-confidence. Their
focus is on themselves, not their problems.
4.
A
healthier lifestyle. People modify parts of their lives during
maintenance. They control their
environment, change their social contacts, and counter old behaviors with new
healthier ones. When a behavior is terminated, a healthier lifestyle becomes
their way of life, without struggle.
Precontemplators don’t enjoy thinking about the consequences of their actions.
Ask them to think about how a behavior will play out 5, 10, or 15 years down
the road, and they are likely to become defensive and avoid answering the
question.
